THE BITCH-SLAP MANEOVER

THE BITCH-SLAP MANEOVER

A Concise Report on This Sociological Practice; Its Usage, Its Impact and Implication

Don T. Myndhim

Disclaimer:

This report is based on research carried out with consenting models aged over 18 years in simulated sessions. Documented response often does not represent real-life response as results may vary from legal trouble to aggravated physical assault.

The publisher of this report assumes no responsibility for the use, misuse or abuse of the information contained herein or any damage, loss or injury caused or sustained as a result of using this information. This information must be used at the discretion, or in most cases, indiscretion, of the user.

Description:

The Bitch-Slap Maneuver is a typical open-handed strike directed to the recipient’s face or the head which is primarily a gesture of aggression and, secondarily, an insulting act. This is executed with the front of the palm as opposed to the Pimp-Slap (aka The Baqhande Method), which is performed with the back of the palm. The Bitch-slap is optimally applied at right angles to the face, but for theatrical purposes maybe struck at a 30-45˚ angle to the face. This, however, is at the expense of efficiency.

A Bitch-Slap can be incited as an insult or for punitive purposes but is not frequently used as a pugilist tool except in catfights. It is mostly used by females on both sexes, or males on females-hence the name, ‘bitch-slap’- and rarely by males on males except when used as an offensive, inflammatory or derogatory gesture.

Bitch-Slap is a milder form of the Pimp-Slap Technique which is not usually used by females but is used almost exclusively on them.

Effects:

Bitch-Slap’s most popular use is as an ego-defacing tool. Studies show a 0.4 index ego decrease in simulated model researches. A geometrical decrease dependent on the number of witnesses present and familiarity with witnesses has also been observed. In these studies, it was noted that the more dramatic the experience, the more effective the result. For example, a louder bitch-slap will elicit more response than a more painful one.

Bitch-slap as a punitive tool hinges on the psychological correlation of displeasure converted to a hostile corporeal act and its application to a sensitive part of the physique. The proximity of the brain to the point of contact may be a contributing factor but the hypothesis has not been proved. Bitch-slaps often promote lachrymal stimulation (tear-formation) which is a vulnerability state and image-status degrader.

Bitch slap may be stress-defusing or a conflict escalator depending on various erratic factors

Modifications:

The Whap:

This is the default bitch-slap mode. It is performed optimally by maximizing the face-palm exposure with a slight air space between the mid-point of the palm and the cheek-peak (the outermost tip of the cheek) as this introduces interesting aerodynamic and flux patterns that enhances but this is beyond the scope of this essay.

Quadridigital:

This makes use of only the four fingers from the pinkie to the index, excluding the thumb and the palm. It is a mild form and has a more precautionary than punitive purpose.

Jezebel’s Whap:

This is an enhanced bitch-slap involving spraying pepper powder or any other facial or eye irritant on the palm prior to the act. This may reduce the appeal of the bitch-slap or the sympathy of bystanders as bitch-slaps are meant to be non-premeditated, spontaneous outbursts while the Jezebel’s Whap is anything but. The repercussion for this may also be more aggravated and it’s unlikely to go unretaliated, though it is a favorite for a more satisfactory malicious pleasure. It is usually used as a retributive or retaliatory action.

The 360˚ Snap:

The 360˚ is also known as the Fully Rotational (FR). Its lesser variations are named after the arc of a circle which they complete. This is the most spectacular as the recipient spins on an axis in the direction of the strike. This usually culminates in his falling on his ass with a tingle in the face and ears. This can only be achieved by experienced Bitch-Slap professionals.

The Transporter:

The Transporter is a variation which alters the recipient’s geo-spatial co-ordinates (sends ’em flying, in other words). This, unlike the 360˚, fitness not experience is the most vital factor for successful execution. This has a different effect on different individuals, though. See also The Bitch-Slap Displacement of Time and Space.

Efficiency exercises:

Bicep curls, dumb bell lifts, karate chops (for speed) are excellent exercises to build up muscles and reflexes necessary for the optimized bitch-slap experience.

References:

J. Z. Bell (1990): Malicious Physical Measures: Application and Effects. Jay and Brown Publishers. ISBN 1-978-66641977

Iwana Fukyuova (2007): Mess the Man Up In Front Of His Friends; the Ultimate Smear to His Character. Women Grow Balls Publishers.

I. Will Rubitin (2006): The Bitch-Slap: Potentials, Implications and Imprecations. Journal of Anti-Male Expressions.ISSN1-338-52252777

Ein Sault (2005): Rude Urban Hand Gestures for the 21^st Century. A Paper Delivered At The World Congress for Urban Culture Update.

Shey, Mon Yu (2001): Why Waste Words When a Whack! Will Do. http://whack-a-doodle-do.com/blog

S. Sault and B. Terry (2009): Optimizing the Bitch-Slap Experience. Akron. A Million Books By Hook Or By Crook Publishers

Further Reading:

Nort C. Rios (1998): The Bitch-Slap Displacement in a Time-Space Continuum. Lion’s Cock, Ohio. Head in the Sand Publishers.