TERRORIST ALERT

A terrorist group known as Coalition for Massive Instability Co. (COMIC) is on the prowl. This is the greatest terrorist threat known to mankind whose ultimate goal is to destroy the world as we know it, destabilizing the socio-political environment in which we live and civilization as is.

For this reason, a joint task force comprising the world's most elite intelligence agencies; the French Agencie Justice Officiale et Kamikaze Extraordinaire (AJOKE), the American Gross Emergency Diversion Deployment and Infiltration Team (GEDDIT) and the Italian Legion Majore Aggravazio Organizaccione(LMAO) have brought together a team that has been on their trail and following their progress. It is comforting to know that the agents are on top of the situation and are capable of checkmating this threat.

The intelligence team led by Agent-in-charge, D. Tec Teef and his second-in-command, Doug Kacher has put together a list of the suspected terrorist members. In the Operation Know Off-handedly Your Enemy (OKOYE), it is the policy of the anti-terrorist team to embrace full disclosure and feel inclined to inform the general public to aid in the fight against terror.

By the way, there is a $10,000 reward for any information leading to the terrorists' capture and/ or foiling their plans. Do not, I repeat, do not attempt to accost them alone. If you have vital information, send it via e-mail at gotyourgoat@yahooze.com or call 1-800-242-4242 (1-800-AHA-HAHA).
Elimination team
1. Awana Qillyu-(Libya)
2. Ashud Qillim (Iraq)
3. Asaid Layd Oun (Iran)
4. Shu Tin Gon (China)
5. Coq d'Ghone (France)
Evasion and Subterfuge Team
1. Rhone Fokova (Russian)
2. Clem A. Tree (Australian)
3. Ron N. Hyde (American)
Logistic and Support Team
1. Hewitt D. Bahdmein (Germany)
2. S. Sault and B. Terry (England)
Others
1. Abum Iswayad (Ballistics and Explosive Division) (Lebanon)
2. Hassas N. Ashun (High Profile Terminator) (Turkey)
3. Kum P. Tahaka (Cybernetics) (Japan)
Signed
D. Tec Teef
Management


P.S. You may be wondering why the list does not include a Nigerian. This is because Nigerian grown-ups find it inexcusable to wear diapers for any reason (the case of Mutallab being an exception rather than the rule) as it is a major blow to his/her dignity. The nickname, 'Ukwu Pampers'-loosely translated to 'diapers ass' is avoided like the plague.